Black Friday Hoopla is Poopla

Alright, alright so yes I have been that psycho shopper who has gotten herself up at the ass crack of dawn to go stand in a line that's a hundred miles long in front of my local "mart" just to buy stuff.  But hey, I was going to buy a ten speed bike for just $35 it was worth it!  Hmmm or was it......being I only rode the damn thing like for all of a minute only to become the property of the ex back in the day.

Anyhow, so is it really worth the torment of getting up before the roosters even do and risking your life....literally, to get half off of something that the store may only have 10 of to begin with AND if your the sorry bastard that gets to it after the 10th person, gets f'ed anyways?  I mean some people have been trampled to death over Black Friday events as well as shot and beat up.  If your kid wants that Iron Man doll that bad just order it at full price online or go to the store days prior to Black Friday. Nothing is worth your life or being caught out of the house with the no makeup and saggy sweat pants look, hyped on caffeine with sleep in the corner of your eye.  I'm not sure what's worse the after Christmas sale or the after Thanksgiving sales (Black Friday).

If you've ever worked in retail you know what I'm talking about.  I've literally witnessed a herd of people with their faces pressed up against the gate of Dillard's once breathing heavy and waiting to charge as soon as the gates went up.  They literally ran, I mean ran into the store. I thought I some how had been magically transported to a NYC marathon.  All for what?  Half off a Christmas bulb?  Holy bat shit Batman WTF?

Can you get some good deals on Black Friday?  Sure. Can you get maimed while in the process of the hoopla?  You bet'cha.  Can you say F it and enjoy Black Friday deals online while in the nude eating your Cheerio's?  Hell yea!!

Now which one would you choose?

Dani-isms For Today

1.  Why do people act like they're hot shit while they're talking on their mobile phones in public?

2.  Why do men seem to get an attitude when they're chewing gum?  They should call gum "Stick O' Asshole" at least when it comes to men's gum.

3.  Why are my clothes the only ones that get F'd up in the wash and nobody elses?  Got a pen in your pants?  The ink will find it's way to my $50 jeans, not yours.

4.  Why do some people feel the need to break out in song no matter WHERE they are, I mean do they actually think Simon Cowell is lurking behind the paper towels in aisle two at Wal-mart and will miraculously sign them?

5.  How come when somebody does something really stupid and/or embarrassing on television "I" get embarrassed for them?  I mean I don't know this dumb ass why should I care?

6.  Why is it when your cable network decides to F up it's always during the season finale of your favorite show and during the last two minutes?

7.  Whoever said getting even wasn't the right thing to do just never succeeded at doing so.

8.  Go ahead, cut me off in traffic, I'm on my period and my husband just bought me this new, shiny glock.

9.  Is there a reason women shave off their eyebrows only to to draw them back on.........in the wrong place?

10. Is it necessary to take 24 hours to answer a text message, I mean really are you that busy?