Jersey Shore's Sammi and Ronnie Call it Quits.......Finally!

We probably could have seen this coming, hell, even Ray Charles would of seen this one coming.  What with all the drama and fighting over crap that half the time didn't matter.  Ronnie cheating in Miami should have been an issue for Sammi at the exact moment she read about it in J-Wow's and Snooki's letter, not a whole season later! 

Granted, Ronnie was a douche bag for cheating on Sammi and treating her like shit in Miami, but Sammi was probably a bigger douche bag for disregarding the "letter" and sticking with him.  Then she made a complete ass out of herself in last nights special Monday episode by confronting him about well, nothing.  Talk about "psycho".  Accusing someone for no reason of something that you have no idea about (odd, I know but that's what she did) is absurd and quite mind boggling. When Ronnie asked what did I do she responded with "I don't know you tell me".  WTF?  As Ronnie put it he was being "mind fucked" by her accusations of nothing.  The girl is touched and really needs to evaluate.  So after Ronnie tells her he's done she runs to Snooki and apologizes for everything regarding the letter etc.  Then tries to befriend Deena and of course leaves J-Wow out of the apology scenario.  The only reason Sammi even did this is because she doesn't have Ronnie anymore so she needs somebody, so why not tuck her tail between her legs and go running to the girls she hated for the last several months for some moral support?

Either way I'm just glad they're over with, it was a real drag for everyone including the cast to watch these two lay around and wallow in each other's self pity, especially Sammi's self pity.  The Situation himself admitted he thought it was definitely Sammi that was bringing that relationship down.

Maybe they can now move on to someone new to put up with their shit. Hooo-rah!

Outta Shape and Sore From an F'ing Video Game!

OMG, what the hell?  I eat very healthy and am not remotely heavy but at the same time completely out of shape.  Either that or 40 is just too old to play video games.  My husband just came home with Kinect for the X-Box 360 and we played the sports video game.  We bowled, played volley ball and ran.  I felt nothing while playing but this morning woke up with a sore stomach, legs and hip joints.  What the hell am I 80?  You should get a doctors note prior to being able to play that shit or there should be an explicit warning at the beginning of each sports game that goes something like this:

If you are 40 or older and completely out of shape, expect heavy panting, sweating between your boobs and inner thighs (for dudes you can expect heavy ball sweat), sore joints that you haven't used since high school, dizziness, sore arms from those flabby bat wings flying around that you refuse to tone up even though you bought that shake weight thing that is now a permanent fixture atop your dryer in the laundry room, sore thighs (although that could be from the wild sex you had last night) and sore stomach muscles because you refuse to do sit ups.

Please do not eat prior to engaging in game play as you may become nauseous and accidentally vomit on your husband who is standing next to you trying to kick your ass at volleyball and for the love of God and Baby Jesus pleeeeease don't think you can jump around during game play without a bra, it's just not a good look for you and will just add to the baggage and saggage you've already got going on.  Thank you, over and out.

Jersey Shore Season 3 Premiere Review

Ho hum........it's sad to say that these "characters" have rode their wave and now it's, well, over for them.  The season premiere was so predictable especially when it came to Deena, Snooki's best gal pal, can you say whore?  Well could we really expect anything more than that from Snooki's friends?  So when Deena got naked less than 7 hours into the first day in front of the Situation it came as no surprise.  Although the cowboy hat was.

Then there was the ever boring and drama filled couple Sammi and Ronnie.  I'm not even sure why that girl bothers to pack anything more than pajamas the bitch is always laying in bed with the covers up over her chin........like all day long.  Only to get up a few times to piss someone off and then it's back to bed wha wha-ing to Ronnie.  It appeared they both laid up in the bed for the entire first episode.  Although Ronnie did make it downstairs long enough to confront Deena about talking about him in regards to Sammi..........big man Ronnie screaming at a girl, you're so cool..........whadda dick.

The highlight of course was when Sammi and Snooki started screaming back and forth at each other over the whole Deena thing, which started out from Sammi laughing at Deena when she was trying to wake up the situation to cuddle with him.  Somehow the "C" word got thrown out at Sammi by Deena for laughing at her.  Then J-Wow, who I think is the most real chick in the whole house and personally my favorite, got involved and  started exchanging punches with Sammi, man I could of gotten some popcorn and sat ring side for that one Go J-Wow!  Kick her ass!  That bitch fight was the best part of the whole show.............literally.  I'm hoping that the season picks up with it's second episode.  Although even if it remains shitty, predictable and a bit scripted we all know that we will continue to watch just to say we did.

I don't expect a season 4 of Jersey Shore at least not with this group.  What with the Situation busy on all of his business ventures, Pauly starring in his own show (this won't last I'm sure past the first few episodes), J-Wow with her wrestling career and Snooki with her, well, drinking and whoring who has the time really?  If anything, expect a whole new cast next season of juice heads and whores from Jersey.  This may just turn into a Real World type of show or it may just drift out to it's own shore never to be brought back but only through re-runs and dvd's.

All Natural Moisturizer

There are so many moisturizers out there on the market today it can really confuse a girl not to mention make a huge dent in the ol' wallet.  Hundreds upon hundreds of dollars are spent for just one product claiming to instantly get rid of this or that, lighten this, make that smaller............yea okay and I'm a 6 foot Brazilian model babe.  (Hey it could happen.......).

All you need is some knowledge about essential oils and you'll be well on your way to softening your skin and wrinkles and brightening your skin.

Rose Hip Seed Oil is wonderful for a moisturizer and will instantly hydrate and make your skin soft as a baby's bottom.  Seriously no bullshit here, just fact.  What's even more appealing about this oil is that it's extremely inexpensive and will last you a while.  I bought a 1 oz. bottle for under $5.  I use mine for an under eye moisturizer both day and night and it works wonders and dissolves easily into the skin.  For the more mature woman or someone that has extremely dry skin you can apply it all over the face.  No need to mix it with another carrier oil.  You could, however, add myrrh or frankincense essential oil to it as both these essential oils are excellent moisturizers.

You can also use organic coconut oil all over your face.  The coconut oil will help brighten the skin and because it has antibacterial and antiviral properties those that are even acne prone can use this as a moisturizer.  I buy mine at my local health food store.  You can add some tea tree essential oil to the coconut oil if you are acne prone as tea tree is great for acne.  Organic coconut oil will run you up to about $15 depending on what brand you choose.

Bah Humbug!!

Is it just me or am I the only one that loathes the holidays?  Yea , yea I get the whole sharing, giving, family crap but really is that what goes on during Christmas?  It's just become this hugely commercialized day where you have to out do everyone's presents by buying bigger and better ones.  Then there's the extra time you have to put in to spend with your spouse's family, which half the time you can barely stand during the year.  Gift exchanges that you get roped into that just suck, I mean there's nothing more that I hate during the holidays than those damn gift exchanges.  What's the point in buying a gift for someone you don't even know, one they probably won't even like and don't need, it's just a pain in the ass.  I mean it's hard for me to buy for someone I do know much less someone I don't and don't really care to get to know.

I even loathe putting up a tree, know why?  Because it's one more thing I've got to take down and put away and vacuum up after.

I can't even stand how people put a bunch of junk in their yard during the holidays, like wood cut outs of ridiculous reindeer and santa which half the time don't even look remotely like reindeer.  What's even worse, is when it's like 6 months after Christmas  and these assholes still have their shit up.

I have to deal needlessly with the over abundance of traffic which equals more dip shits on the roads acting like idiots.  Making illegal U-turns, darting in and out of traffic, never using a signal light all in the name of gift giving and getting.  It's like go home, turn on the computer and order grandma's crap off the net already!

Then there's the Christmas parties where you have to blow more money to buy a new dress and shoes, get your nails done and hair fixed yadda yadda yadda.  Why do people even bother to go to these things?  Ah yes, to sit back and watch who will end up making a drunk ass out of themselves so we can make fun of them Monday at the office.  Good times, gooood times.  Really?  Unless you're getting free liquor from your company Christmas party it's really not worth it to even go.  The last company hoopla I went to we got two drink tickets and that was it.  Luckily I was able to flirt with the guy they hired to serve the drinks and got a couple extra.

All in all people have ruined what Christmas is about with their pretentious bullshit and look at me I'm awesome because I brought the biggest gift to the party.

More time and money is wasted on the ideals of Christmas and not enough time and money is spent on what really matters.  The birthday of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and the spirit of the giving of our time and love to those that really need it.  Helping and giving to those that are less fortunate.  You should try it one year and get your kids involved too, like serving at your local homeless shelter or maybe having you and your kids gather up clothes and/or toys they no longer use and donating them to a battered women and children's shelter.  These are the kinds of things that are Christmas to me how about you?

Who in the Hell is Kim Kardashian Dating Now???

Holy shit can we keep up with this chick?  First off, don't get me wrong, I think she's a hottie myself (no homo) but in the last several months or so she's proving to be a serial dater.  She's ruining it for Keeping Up With The Kardashian's hit reality show.  I mean by the time the next season starts it will already feel like reruns to us because we already know what's going on with her crazy ass life.

Okay so first there was the dude from the Dallas Cowboys, who, in my opinion, looked like a vampire, I mean was I the only one that noticed his fangs?  Then the whole Kanye West rumor.......or was it?  Then Hale Berry's ex, Gabriel Audry, which when caught together at a B ball game she as well as her mother Kris, insisted they were not dating that they were just "friends", well can't friends sleep together and go out?  Sure they can until a few days later they are in the headlines as "breaking up" wha, wha, wait a cotton pickin' minute weren't they just like friends 24 hours ago?  Then the article I read said that they were dating for a week and things were moving "too fast" because they both were coming off a break up.  Although other sources say she felt that his age (34) was older than she was looking for AND she felt he was using her for her fame.  Okay, okay so good Kim I'm glad that you finally figured out jumping from cock to cock isn't really a good look for you ......ooooooh hell no wait a minute what's this I see?  She's dating a B ball player now???  Kris Humphries from the NJ Nets,  who in my opinion looks just like Taylor Lautner.  She says he's normal and fun. Wow, really Kim, really?

You Know You're Getting Old When............

1.  Your ass can no longer remember to stay up

2.  The skin on your arms looks like crepe paper, (when the F did that happen? Probably when the estrogen in your body started to say buh-bye)

3.  Music, any music that is playing is TOO LOUD

4.  You don't even have patience for the time it takes to nuke a hot pocket

5.  You think Chivalry and love is all crap.

6.  When seeing a young couple "in love" makes you want to vomit

7.  You start calling people in their mid 20's "kids"

8.  When you decide yea, let's go out for a drink and you look around and realize you're old enough to be everyone's mother.

9.  When you have no idea what song is playing on the radio.

10. When you have no idea how to even work the radio.