Candy Corn, Popcorn Balls and Jersey Shore's Snooki

What's up with candy corn?  Who made this triangular oddity and why do people feel compelled to hand this out during Halloween?  Do they honestly think that kids/teens are going to eat this crap?  I remember when my two oldest children went trick or treating and that's the first thing they would pick out and throw in the "trash" pile, well, that and those disgusting popcorn balls.  They always smelled like feet.

I really don't know of anyone that has ever liked candy corn, either that or they were too embarrassed to admit it.  This stuff resembles candle wax and tastes like a clump of sugar that was left out on the kitchen counter over night from some unknown source.

Although, there is nothing more disturbing, or leaves a less than fresh taste in my mouth, than the alarming amount of people that are wanting to dress up like The Jersey Shore's Snooki for Halloween and desperately trying to find a pre-bagged Snooki costume.  Why don't you save yourself the trouble and money and just dress up in a short, skin tight, unfashionable dress and act like a drunk slut?  It's easy, cheap and simple............ kind of like Snooki.

And hey, here's an added benefit:  Instead of the norm, where "halloweeners" ring doorbells shaking down strangers for candy you can just shake down people for booze and juice heads.  Hey, it may be better than that crappy candy corn.

Need To Hide A Zit Fast?

Back in the day working for Christian Dior I had picked up a very cool tip from one of their executives.  Hiding a zit with concealer is not always fool proof and sometimes can make things worse.  So why not work the zit to your advantage?

I'm sure you're saying WTF?  How can this big, ugly thing on my face ever work to my advantage especially when you've got a date or important event coming up.  Simple, that is, if the zit is in a "good" place on your face. Like say near your mouth or high up on your cheek.  You can turn that zit into a sexy Cindy Crawford like mole.  Just use a brown eyeliner or brow pencil and color that sucker in.  Yeah, you heard me color it brown to dark brown and viola you have a sexy mole instantly and don't have to worry about that angry zit anymore.  It's new and chic instead of red and gross.

Yeah, yeah, you can thank me later..............have fun!!

Talons, Toe Jam and Dirt

Homo-phobe or not, you have to admit that The A List New York is entertaining as hell.  Yes, I could do without the PDA that they dish on there, however it's giving Housewives of Beverly Hills a run for its money.  These guys are so damn pretty it's pathetic.  What the hell, why are gay guys always good looking?  It's like every single one of them on this show, or at least 90% of them are hot.

It's sad when a dude takes better care of their looks than most women.  What has this world come to?    I know guys who are straight and get pedicures and manicures and have more candles and incense in their house than I do.  Is it sexy?  Hmmm, I'm gonna go with no.  I mean don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want my husband walking around with talons, toe jam and dirt but I think getting pedi's and mani's would be pushing it.

Either way, these guys are pretty to look at and even funnier to watch.  Gotta love the bitch fights!

Super Antioxidant Drink

I have created one of THE healthiest and tastiest smoothie ever!  It gives you energy, literally, I'm talking a buzz of happiness minus the cannabis of course.  It contains goji berries which are incredibly healthy and healing as well as MSM which is sulphur that our body needs to maintain our immune system and maca root powder which is a superfood.

Read here about goji berries, here about MSM and  about maca root powder here.  This is a beauty drink because of the enormous amounts of antioxidants in it and the MSM promotes the production of collagen, which we women in our 40's and beyond NEED!  You will notice over a short period of time softer skin, less wrinkles, harder nails and thicker hair. The MSM will even help with skin hyperpigmentation (melasma).  Add all that to the burst of energy and great mood you'll be in after consuming it, you'll want to drink this concoction twice a day or more!!

Here's my secret recipe:

2 Bananas
1 to 1 1/2 Cups of frozen or fresh blueberries
1 Cup White Tea (using filtered water)
2 Rounded Tablespoons of ****Goji berries (*see below)
2 Tablespoons of **Flax Seed (*see below)
Up to 1 Tbs. (depending on your needs) of  Organic Maca Root powder.
1/4 Tsp.*** MSM powder (pure, no MSM "mixes" )

Place all of the ingredients in a blender.  I highly recommend the NINJA (I love this thing). Pulsate several times until you get a smooth blend.  Pour, and drink.

*You will need a decent coffee grinder to grind up the goji berries and flax seeds.  The rounded tablespoons of goji berries will be the amount prior to grinding as well as the amount of flax seeds prior to grinding.

**Please be advised that if you have herpes simplex 1 or 2 omit the flax seeds, as they contain high amounts of arginine and according to reports can trigger an outbreak.

***Start out with just 1/4 tsp of MSM to start and then week two build up to 1/2 tsp and keep building up thereafter if you are using the MSM for therapeutic reasons i.e., joint pain, melasma, etc.  If not, continue to just use 1/4 tsp. Side effects are rare as bloating, intestinal gas and loose stools may occur.  Work up to the dosage that your comfortable with and if you detox too quickly lower dosage.

****If you are just starting to use goji berries start out with just 10 or 20 berries and work your way up to 100.  These berries are potent and can give you a "rush" or "high" so to speak, so start out small and go up from there (the 2 rounded TBS as indicated in recipe)

Additional Info:
Maca Root Powder is known to boost libido in both men and women and increase bust size and "booty" size in women because it balances hormones.  The latter has been proven via posts made by actual women throughout the web regarding their experiences.

Yummy and good for your looks and body!

Jersey Shore's Snooki in Her Just Dance 2 Commercial.......Hilarious

What is up with these Jersey Shore people NONE of them can dance!  I guess fist pumping is all any of them can do with the occasional hand spring in the club while sporting a thong (thanks Snooki for that in season 1)

Take a look at Snooki's commercial and see what you think, It takes me back to that Seinfeld episode where Elaine does the herky jerky dance.  Keep your eyes open for another familiar face from Jersey Shore joining her in this.



Ubisoft Just Dance 2 Commercial - MTV Jersey Shore from Matt Workman on Vimeo.

I Love Sunday Mornings.......Well, Maybe

Aaaaah there's nothing like sleeping in on a Sunday morning (ha, yea right, if you have no kids) I woke up this morning, the crack ass of dawn, as usual, with the sound of mama, mama. I slowly cracked one eyelid open and there, less than a 1/4 inch from my face with a bad case of morning breath, was Hell boy.

"Go awaaaaaaaaay", I said. He just kept up with the mama mama's until I literally rolled out of bed onto the floor. I had just been up with Giggle toots three hours prior for a feeding.

I come from a loud Italian family, so it's no wonder Hell boy inherited my loud mouth, so of course he woke up Giggle toots with his mama mama's. Someone make it stop! Is there no rest for the weary? I'm 40, I should be sleeping in at least until noon, then getting up drinking a smoothie in peace wondering what my children are doing a whole city away from me. Instead, I'm being woken up by a 2 year old, a 7 month old and wondering if my 21 year old ever put his laundry in the dryer from last night.

Two diaper changes later, I make my way to the breakfast room and find a lovely work of art from Hell boy..........on my wall. Today is going to be a blasty blast, I tell ya.

Did Vinny From Jersey Shore Sleep With a Tranny and Who is Sidney Starr?

So now that I've discussed the whole Ramona could be a Tranny issue, my next thought is did Vinny have sex with "it" or not in last night's episode. We can assume yes, but the thought makes me cringe. Some may say that if in fact Ramona is a tranny wouldn't she have gotten breast implants, I mean come on she has no boobies! However,there are hormones that "it" could be taking to give her breasts (naturally). Don't be fooled by her voice, etc.

Still not convinced that Ramona is a tranny? Take a look at this video of the first tranny known in the hip hop world that just came out with the news and has been linked to Chingy, Lil' Wayne and Soulja Boy, to name a few. This video is a radio interview with her, Sidney Starr and includes unbelievable pics of this "woman"