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I think there's a leprechaun that lives in the wall behind my dryer and keeps stealing my socks.
Which is worse dirty fingernails or belly button lint? Neither, they're both gross.
How come when you have a booger hanging out of your nose nobody has the balls to tell you?
If I let you buy me a drink will you go away?
I didn't ask to be born my parents forced me.
How come when you run into somebody you haven't seen in a long time they always end the conversation with "Hey let's get together and do lunch, I'll call you!" Knowing full well it ain't gonna happen?
Why is that bean burrito just now kicking in?
Why is that bean burrito just now kicking in during a date.......in the movie theater.....when you're the only two in there?
Is that my ass that keeps hitting the back of my knees?
Why can't we have remote controlled children, that way we can mute and pause them when needed?
I don't care how much money you make, let's talk about the stupid thing.
Yes, they're real, and no you can't touch them.....for free anyways.
Have a nice day, just, please, do it somewhere else.
How come people can say "Gosh you're so short" to short people and it's okay, but say "Gosh you're so fat" to a fat person and suddenly you're an asshole?
Stay tuned for more Dani-isms I tend to have random thoughts daily with nowhere to put'em........but here.
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