1. Walmart really has become the one stop shop, you can get a haircut, manicure, rent a car, buy a house, take out a loan, plan a vacation, try on the latest fashion, go grocery shopping, buy furniture, electronics and get a papsmear (seriously my Walmart has a clinic) all under the same roof! The only thing that's missing is renting a room for the night........hmmm maybe I'm onto something here.
2. Is it really necessary for celebrities that go on these late night talk shows to inevitably take a sip of whatever's in that huge ass coffee mug sitting on the table next to them? Is it coffee? Is it water? Perhaps vodka? Well maybe if you're a guest on Chelsea Lately but really is it a prerequisite to be a guest on the show, I mean do they sign a contract saying thou must partake in the sipping of the giant coffee mug???
3. Why do my children only seem to act out in public, do they want to see mommy go to jail?
4. Why is it that nobody wants to talk to me in my house until I get on the phone and then everybody wants a piece of the mommy? Where's my superman shirt? Babe, where's my lighter? Momma have you seen my race car?
5. Why am I the only one that has ever gotten pissed on, pooped on, puked on and drooled on by my children? Am I just a magnet for disgusting liquids such as these? Where is your father?
6. How come my mother inlaw always returns my one year old with poop in his pants and a pound of pee?
7. Why am I the only one in the house that seems to know how to change the toilet paper roll?
8. Why is it that I've lived in the same house for the last three years and still always miss my turn into my subdivision?
9. Whoever invented the Ped Egg needs to be shot...........twice.
10. Why is it that no matter what, I always end up picking the shopping cart with the messed up wheels ?
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