Candy Corn, Popcorn Balls and Jersey Shore's Snooki

What's up with candy corn?  Who made this triangular oddity and why do people feel compelled to hand this out during Halloween?  Do they honestly think that kids/teens are going to eat this crap?  I remember when my two oldest children went trick or treating and that's the first thing they would pick out and throw in the "trash" pile, well, that and those disgusting popcorn balls.  They always smelled like feet.

I really don't know of anyone that has ever liked candy corn, either that or they were too embarrassed to admit it.  This stuff resembles candle wax and tastes like a clump of sugar that was left out on the kitchen counter over night from some unknown source.

Although, there is nothing more disturbing, or leaves a less than fresh taste in my mouth, than the alarming amount of people that are wanting to dress up like The Jersey Shore's Snooki for Halloween and desperately trying to find a pre-bagged Snooki costume.  Why don't you save yourself the trouble and money and just dress up in a short, skin tight, unfashionable dress and act like a drunk slut?  It's easy, cheap and simple............ kind of like Snooki.

And hey, here's an added benefit:  Instead of the norm, where "halloweeners" ring doorbells shaking down strangers for candy you can just shake down people for booze and juice heads.  Hey, it may be better than that crappy candy corn.

Need To Hide A Zit Fast?

Back in the day working for Christian Dior I had picked up a very cool tip from one of their executives.  Hiding a zit with concealer is not always fool proof and sometimes can make things worse.  So why not work the zit to your advantage?

I'm sure you're saying WTF?  How can this big, ugly thing on my face ever work to my advantage especially when you've got a date or important event coming up.  Simple, that is, if the zit is in a "good" place on your face. Like say near your mouth or high up on your cheek.  You can turn that zit into a sexy Cindy Crawford like mole.  Just use a brown eyeliner or brow pencil and color that sucker in.  Yeah, you heard me color it brown to dark brown and viola you have a sexy mole instantly and don't have to worry about that angry zit anymore.  It's new and chic instead of red and gross.

Yeah, yeah, you can thank me later..............have fun!!

Talons, Toe Jam and Dirt

Homo-phobe or not, you have to admit that The A List New York is entertaining as hell.  Yes, I could do without the PDA that they dish on there, however it's giving Housewives of Beverly Hills a run for its money.  These guys are so damn pretty it's pathetic.  What the hell, why are gay guys always good looking?  It's like every single one of them on this show, or at least 90% of them are hot.

It's sad when a dude takes better care of their looks than most women.  What has this world come to?    I know guys who are straight and get pedicures and manicures and have more candles and incense in their house than I do.  Is it sexy?  Hmmm, I'm gonna go with no.  I mean don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want my husband walking around with talons, toe jam and dirt but I think getting pedi's and mani's would be pushing it.

Either way, these guys are pretty to look at and even funnier to watch.  Gotta love the bitch fights!

Super Antioxidant Drink

I have created one of THE healthiest and tastiest smoothie ever!  It gives you energy, literally, I'm talking a buzz of happiness minus the cannabis of course.  It contains goji berries which are incredibly healthy and healing as well as MSM which is sulphur that our body needs to maintain our immune system and maca root powder which is a superfood.

Read here about goji berries, here about MSM and  about maca root powder here.  This is a beauty drink because of the enormous amounts of antioxidants in it and the MSM promotes the production of collagen, which we women in our 40's and beyond NEED!  You will notice over a short period of time softer skin, less wrinkles, harder nails and thicker hair. The MSM will even help with skin hyperpigmentation (melasma).  Add all that to the burst of energy and great mood you'll be in after consuming it, you'll want to drink this concoction twice a day or more!!

Here's my secret recipe:

2 Bananas
1 to 1 1/2 Cups of frozen or fresh blueberries
1 Cup White Tea (using filtered water)
2 Rounded Tablespoons of ****Goji berries (*see below)
2 Tablespoons of **Flax Seed (*see below)
Up to 1 Tbs. (depending on your needs) of  Organic Maca Root powder.
1/4 Tsp.*** MSM powder (pure, no MSM "mixes" )

Place all of the ingredients in a blender.  I highly recommend the NINJA (I love this thing). Pulsate several times until you get a smooth blend.  Pour, and drink.

*You will need a decent coffee grinder to grind up the goji berries and flax seeds.  The rounded tablespoons of goji berries will be the amount prior to grinding as well as the amount of flax seeds prior to grinding.

**Please be advised that if you have herpes simplex 1 or 2 omit the flax seeds, as they contain high amounts of arginine and according to reports can trigger an outbreak.

***Start out with just 1/4 tsp of MSM to start and then week two build up to 1/2 tsp and keep building up thereafter if you are using the MSM for therapeutic reasons i.e., joint pain, melasma, etc.  If not, continue to just use 1/4 tsp. Side effects are rare as bloating, intestinal gas and loose stools may occur.  Work up to the dosage that your comfortable with and if you detox too quickly lower dosage.

****If you are just starting to use goji berries start out with just 10 or 20 berries and work your way up to 100.  These berries are potent and can give you a "rush" or "high" so to speak, so start out small and go up from there (the 2 rounded TBS as indicated in recipe)

Additional Info:
Maca Root Powder is known to boost libido in both men and women and increase bust size and "booty" size in women because it balances hormones.  The latter has been proven via posts made by actual women throughout the web regarding their experiences.

Yummy and good for your looks and body!

Jersey Shore's Snooki in Her Just Dance 2 Commercial.......Hilarious

What is up with these Jersey Shore people NONE of them can dance!  I guess fist pumping is all any of them can do with the occasional hand spring in the club while sporting a thong (thanks Snooki for that in season 1)

Take a look at Snooki's commercial and see what you think, It takes me back to that Seinfeld episode where Elaine does the herky jerky dance.  Keep your eyes open for another familiar face from Jersey Shore joining her in this.



Ubisoft Just Dance 2 Commercial - MTV Jersey Shore from Matt Workman on Vimeo.

I Love Sunday Mornings.......Well, Maybe

Aaaaah there's nothing like sleeping in on a Sunday morning (ha, yea right, if you have no kids) I woke up this morning, the crack ass of dawn, as usual, with the sound of mama, mama. I slowly cracked one eyelid open and there, less than a 1/4 inch from my face with a bad case of morning breath, was Hell boy.

"Go awaaaaaaaaay", I said. He just kept up with the mama mama's until I literally rolled out of bed onto the floor. I had just been up with Giggle toots three hours prior for a feeding.

I come from a loud Italian family, so it's no wonder Hell boy inherited my loud mouth, so of course he woke up Giggle toots with his mama mama's. Someone make it stop! Is there no rest for the weary? I'm 40, I should be sleeping in at least until noon, then getting up drinking a smoothie in peace wondering what my children are doing a whole city away from me. Instead, I'm being woken up by a 2 year old, a 7 month old and wondering if my 21 year old ever put his laundry in the dryer from last night.

Two diaper changes later, I make my way to the breakfast room and find a lovely work of art from Hell boy..........on my wall. Today is going to be a blasty blast, I tell ya.

Did Vinny From Jersey Shore Sleep With a Tranny and Who is Sidney Starr?

So now that I've discussed the whole Ramona could be a Tranny issue, my next thought is did Vinny have sex with "it" or not in last night's episode. We can assume yes, but the thought makes me cringe. Some may say that if in fact Ramona is a tranny wouldn't she have gotten breast implants, I mean come on she has no boobies! However,there are hormones that "it" could be taking to give her breasts (naturally). Don't be fooled by her voice, etc.

Still not convinced that Ramona is a tranny? Take a look at this video of the first tranny known in the hip hop world that just came out with the news and has been linked to Chingy, Lil' Wayne and Soulja Boy, to name a few. This video is a radio interview with her, Sidney Starr and includes unbelievable pics of this "woman"

Jersey Shore's Vinny Dating a Tranny?

Ok, so I find this hilarious.  The last episode of Jersey Shore the girl (Ramona) that kept standing up Vinny finally met with him and went to the beach for a little picnic.  The VERY first thing I said to my 21 year old was OMG that is such a dude right there I know it!!  He was like huh, I don't know.  It was sooooo clear and if you saw the episode you know exactly what I'm talking about.  When she removed her skirt and I saw her in her bikini, I was like it looks like a dude's body.  No boobies, no curves, and a really narrow bottom half.  I immediately began looking for the adam's apple.  How in the world could Vinny not see this?  Holy crap!  Her, or should I say "his" face looked manly too!  The Situation almost had an "oopsie" a few episodes back with a tranny at a club too, but fortunately for him he realized it and nipped it quick.  Poor Vinny, I have no idea if he has another date with this "Ramona" or not, we all shall see in the next few episodes I suppose.

Ironically just a few days ago my 21 year old was reading thisis50.com and found some info on it with a youtube video, of course the first words out of my mouth were I TOLD YA SO!!  Man I have an amazing Tran-Dar (Tranny radar).

See what you think.............

How to Get Kim Kardashian's Look Step by Step

As some of you may already know I write for Examiner.com as the Jackson Beauty Examiner and have close to 200 articles regarding beauty, including makeup tips, reviews and how to's.  I find that a large amount of women love Kim Kardashian's look and wonder how to achieve it.  So I am posting an article from my examiner post here for your information.  Enjoy!

Feb. 2010 (Jackson Beauty Examiner)

Ever wonder what kind of makeup the stars use?  Brand, colors, etc.?  How about taking it one step further and actually seeing them having their makeup done giving you step by step instructions?

I have always loved Kim Kardashian's foundation look and wondered what she used.  While on my quest, I stumbled onto the following videos on youtube.com that I just knew you would enjoy as well.

It seems she's a huge fan of MAC and also uses Makeup Forever with a dash of Lancome mascara's.  Below you will see four videos of her getting her makeup done by one of her Makeup Artist's, Stephen Moleski.  He starts with her foundation application and ends with her infamous smokey eye look!

Facebook......Seriously?

I must admit back in 2005 I did have a Myspace but that's when I was single and looking to mingle and only kept it through 2006 because I was a radio personality at a rock station here in Jackson for that year and it was for fan base purposes.

Right after I married my southern fried guy I got rid of it, I mean what was the point anymore, plus I got out of radio.  Half the time we all just ok'ed a friend request just so we'd look cool by having a ton of friends.  In my opinion, and opinions are like assholes, we all have one, Myspace was juvenile and either for teens or 20 somethings or up to mid 30's looking for a mate/date.

Either way, I was over it back then and certainly would be now.  Then enters Facebook.  It suddenly got cool within the last two years or so, originally for the older folks trying to reconnect with old high school friends, now it's the craze with tweens, teens and 20 somethings.  Honestly who really cares to reconnect with your old schoolmates?  I mean if they were so meaningful to any of us to begin with wouldn't we have kept in touch over the years ourselves via phone, letter or email?

Truth be told most on there are kind of like that geek to hot show that the Maury Povich show constantly is doing.  Like look at me now, I used to be fat, now I'm hot.  I used to be a geek, now I'm in a band yadda, yadda, yadda.

Now, don't get me wrong Facebook would be great, say if you had a business and it was part of your marketing strategy etc., otherwise, why?  Oh look I know her she was such a bitch, I'll add her anyways and look at him I saw him in the hall once I'll add him!  Really?

When it really comes down to it I think most people just want to see how their former classmates look now compared to themselves and see how fat everyone got.

Can You Kindly Remove Your Car From Up My Ass?

Yesterday I decided to take Hell boy fall/winter clothes shopping (oh the joy) and on my way my 21 year old said hey that girl behind you is like right up your ass.  I looked in the rear view mirror and sure as shit there she was riding my ass.  Maaaan I cannot stand people like this especially when your on a two lane, no passing road. The speed limit was 35 and because I rarely drive the speed limit myself I was going 45 mph.  Was the extra 10 not good enough for her?  To top it all off this chick looked like Freddy Kruger I kid you not it's hard to even describe her.  An unusual tan that obviously went wrong, tiny teeth, if any in her head at all and greasy, stringy hair.  I was scared I tell you, scared!  Perhaps Satan let a few demons out today on the road to piss me off I'm not sure but she was off the charts scary!

We kept driving and she appeared to be peaking to the side with her car as if to tease that she was going to pass , but of course because it's a no passing zone it's no wonder she didn't actually do it, hence the curves and the trees.  It's like 1pm bitch what's the hurry anyways? I was going over the speed limit myself what the hell?  I got so pissed that I tapped my brakes, just to piss her off (yes, I'm one of "those").  She backed off a bit then, but moments later was right back up my ass.  Finally we approached a light where I was turning left and she went straight, but not before she whipped her demon head at me and gave me a go to hell look (sorry I don't want to go there, it seems you've already been and look at you) like I was in the wrong and I just flipped her the bird and honked.  My 21 year old looked at me like what the hell?  Hell boy was sleeping so he didn't see mommy's "birdie", seems my little birdie keeps rearing his ugly head lately............

Moronic Parking Lot People

I love going to my local health food store, but unfortunately the parking there blows ass on a bean burrito diet.  At certain times of the day you can bet that you'll be going in circles for several minutes in search of somewhere to park.  I had four cars ahead of me circling the parking lot for like 10 minutes the other day, it was like we were vultures out there I tell you.  Oh no, could it be?  There in  the distance two guys walking to their cars, yessssss, almost there..... it was getting intense like musical chairs but with parking spaces, round and round we all went, waiting for that break.  When suddenly the lady ahead of me just stops dead and turns on her blinker as if to say hey bitch this one's mine as soon as he backs his ass outta here.  Well, there she sat and so did I as I couldn't pass her on the other side.  Another 2, then 3, then 5 minutes pass, the guy wasn't backing out, instead he decided to have a conversation with the other guy getting ready to leave right there in the parking lot.  Yup just chit chatting about God knows what.......their jock itch? The latest ho they bagged last night?  That odd mole just to the left of their scrotum?   Could they have been more rude?  Hellooooo??? Did they not see the parade of cars circling waiting on their dumb asses so we might be able to shop at some point in the next oh, I don't know century?

Apparently these morons didn't get the memo and kept talking and the woman ahead of me had enough and took off.  I luckily spotted another guy leaving (note to self:  Why are there so many dudes at the health food store?) and slid into his spot.  I parked and walked past these two chatty Kathy's who were STILL bullshitting outside of their cars, I couldn't help myself, I just had to say something.  Without a thought, as I strolled by, I flipped them off and said nice day we're having eh?

Oh the Confusion

I just ran out today to get my two youngest the blu-ray edition of Beauty and The Beast and as usual with any blu-ray I was forced, forced I tell you to have to get the three disc set. WTF?  Why do I have to pay 24.99 because they choose to put 3 and sometimes even 4 discs in these blu-ray selections? I mean who really watches the bonus materials disc anyways and if I wanted the regular DVD dont'cha think I would have bought that one to begin with and saved myself an extra 5 bucks or so??  

Then you have to stop for a minute and eyeball the discs once you open the case to ensure you're putting the right disc in the player.  Then when you put the disc in it asks you if you want the extended version, directors cut, commentary version, boring version, goofy version, crappy version, blah blah.............pleeeeeease, I just had to stare at 3 discs so close to my eyes to make sure I was choosing the blu-ray I about busted a blood vessel, do I really need to be bothered with what version of that disc I want to watch?  C'mon what ever happened to just opening up the case and haphazardly grabbing the ONLY disc in there and tossing it in the player and hitting PLAY.

If only I had these many choices with what I wanted my ass to look like today in my jeans I'd be set!!

Brown Rice Pie Crust Recipe

For those that have a wheat intolerance or just want to be healthy and eliminate gluten and wheat from their diets all together this is definitely a recipe you need in your arsenal of healthy delicious-ness.

Here's what you'll need:

1 Cup brown rice flour
3 Tablespoons organic coconut oil (unrefined and virgin)
4 Tablespoons cold water
1 Large egg beaten
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. sea salt

Combine all dry ingredients then add coconut oil, beaten egg and water. Then grab your pie plate and plop the mixture in the center, I generally just pound the mixture flat into the pie plate and slowly edge it up onto the sides, making sure that it's evenly patted down.  It will have a different texture than a regular pie crust.  It will be stickier so don't even attempt to roll it out or anything.  Pop in the oven at 350 for about 25-30 minutes until golden brown.

Enjoy!

Easy and Healthy Quiche Recipe

Being the health nut that I am (emphasis on nut, lol) all the recipes that I use or make up myself never have wheat, milk, butter, cheese or refined white sugar in them.  So the following recipe I had to tweak in my own healthy way and it still comes out deeeeeelish!!  Scrumptiously, fantastically, amazingly yummy.

Here's what you'll need:

1.  4 eggs
2. 2 cups SoDelicious Coconut Milk (or other milk alternative, i.e. almond or rice milk)
3. Salt, pepper and nutmeg.
4. Random veggies you like (broccoli, kale, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms etc.)
5.  9 inch pie crust (see my tweaked brown rice flour pie crust recipe)

Preheat oven to 425

Beat 4 large eggs in bowl, add coconut milk, salt, pepper and nutmeg.  I just kind of eyeball the amount of nutmeg as it will be based on your liking, however nutmeg in quiche is what makes it so f'ing delicious anyways so I usually add a shit load.

In the mean time wash your fresh veggies well and cut them all up (I used kale, broccoli and mushrooms in this quiche).  Place them inside your already cooked pie shell then pour your egg mixture over top of them.  Pop in the oven at 425 for 15 minutes then lower temp to 350 for another 25 minutes or until golden brown on top.  If you're a mucous and pus lover, feel free to add cheese to this recipe.

Call me an ass, I never took a pic of the final product, I took it out to cool and got side tracked with hell boy and giggle toots ya know the "yuge".

Enjoy!!!