Why do we have to exercise to look good, why can't they invent some sort of pill we can take to get a firmer ass?
Why when using the shake weight does it look like you're playing with a penis?
Why do they make a shake weight for men? (see above)
Why did I order a shake weight? hmmm
How come when you buy a stair stepper it always ends up being a clothes rack? (an expensive clothes rack)
What's up with these shape up shoes, they're uglier than F....wear these and nobody's looking at your fat ass anymore they're looking at how ugly your damn shoes are.
Has anyone ever farted in yoga class?
How come I can never clear my mind doing yoga, I've always got weird stuff on the brain, like: did I lock my car door? What am I going to make for dinner? Does my ass look big in this pose? The chick next to be smells like dirty feet. Why does the teacher keep looking at me weird? This mat smells funny..........
Will they ever make a bicycle seat that doesn't ride up my va-jay-jay?
I hate it when I jog how stuff jiggles, it just reminds me of more body parts I need to firm up.
"See random Dani-isms at the bottom of this page"
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