What the F?

How in the hell is it that this guy doesn't scare the Ba-Geezus out of small children?  Was the person that developed Yo-Gabba-Gabba high?  I mean have you tried to watch this show?  Ok, if you have and it freaks the crap out of you, imagine what would happen if you were watching it completely baked?

Can somebeody please tell me what happened to this banana I was gong to put in my green drink this morning?  I mean it looks like somebody had mistaken it for a cigarette and tried to light the end of it WTF?

Okay so I've been entering the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes forever!  However, over the years they've gotten pretty damn sneaky at trying to coerce you into buying things without you realizing it.  Case in point, look at the picture.... this what my counter looked like after I was forced, I tell you forced to go through the buy this cheap great shit now booklets, only to try and find the "stamp" to place on my "official" entry form.  Yea they literally hide the stamp you need amongst the other stamps to order crap.  Pretty sneaky huh?  It's like playing a Where's Waldo game but the adult gambling version.   I had to go through like four of those damn brochure thingies before I finally found the special stamp I needed.  Only to have to tear it out from the perforation and lick the back of it, which tasted like ass by the way**, and then place it over the box template on the entry form I needed to send back.

You would think by now they would come up with a more updated way to "enter" instead of searching, licking and sticking I mean that was so 80's.  Why do I waste postage stamps on this crap?  Why do I bother to enter, knowing I won't win?  Why do the commercials where they walk up to the winners front door and let them know they've won and hand them a giant ass check bring a tear to my eye EVERY TIME? I mean I know what's coming next, hell it's no surprise!  Why are those checks so damn big, I mean what bank would deposit such a monstrosity?  The Bank of Goliath?  Why are the winners always, always older than dirt?  Is it that they purposely choose old people knowing they're going to die soon and won't ever have to pay them the full amount?  Why is it I just can't seem to throw one of these sweepstakes entries in the trash?  Is it because I'll always wonder ........what if? Perhaps, but then again,  with all the time combined over the last few years I've spent looking for that special stamp amidst oodles of shit products I could have baked a cake, spent more time with my kids.......hmmm probably not.

**I don't actually know what ass tastes like, I can only imagine and either way, it can't possibly be good.